User talk:Ocelot12349
Welcome Hi, welcome to One Piece Fan Fiction Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:Jaerik the Swordsman by randymonki.jpg page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- Nettlekid (Talk) 09:46, September 13, 2011 Ama Ama No Mi With your Ama Ama no mi. Is the heat they give off (being as hot as the sun) Passive or activated? Can they control their heat? Because as you mentioned in the description of it. While in a battle even if it was activated There is no material for clothing of even metal for swords that could withstand the heat of the sun. So your characters swords would melt and his clothes would disintergrate. CrimsonG 12:04, September 15, 2011 (UTC) Ama Ama no Mi Stop changing that Devil Fruit. It does not belong to you. Subrosian 16:29, September 15, 2011 (UTC) Originality I am no admin or anything so I don't really have a right to tell you what to do, however I will point out that the devil fruit your character Danieru D. Taimen ''has is a little unoriginal and is directly copying ''Naruto's Nine tailed fox. I don't know if the admins have a problem with it, but I would suggest changing it and coming up with your own ideas. CrimsonG 04:24, September 17, 2011 (UTC) I apologize then. I just assumed since he was a member of the same crew.I will talk I will talk to him about it then. Your Characters Hey, so I see you're pretty new to the site and can be allowed some leeway in your character creation, but before things go too far I really want to step in and address some issues about your characters, which seem like they're getting a bit ''too overpowered. Taimen and Jaerik, right? The kyuubi one and the three-sword one. The latter is the one I want to address most, but I decided I'd take the opportunity to comment on both of them while I did so. Firstly, you're kyuubi guy. Now naturally I can see he's kind of ripping off Naruto's powers, but fortunately you didn't go so far as to simply make him Naruto, picture and all, the kind of thing which we've had some trouble with in the past. You made him an original backstory and all, which is very appreciated. But it's this power. The kyuubi thing, if maybe a little unoriginal if I may be forgiven for saying so, is fine. Mythical Zoans are accepted. But the addition of this red material which destroys anything is far too much. For one, that's what makes it clearly an imitation of Naruto's chakra, but even if it wasn't then it's just not right for a fan character. Really, stay away from words like "everyone," "anything," "always," etc. It removes any limit that the power might have, and all good powers have limits. This extends also to things like the knife throwing which "causes instant sudden death for a normal person." To say that it DOES do that, not "often" or "may" but that it ''does, is godmodding kind of in itself. And the death just adds to that immensely. I'm not even going to address the components of the character such as the CP9 training and the Douriki of 4000, because that's just blatantly overpowered. You should see that. Hoo, went on about that longer than I meant to. What I really wanted to talk about was your other character, Jaerik. There are a few things regarding copying from the series I want to talk about, and then just some things that don't make sense at all. The first is that you've made a new Devil Fruit after Subrosian told you not to steal his Ama Ama no Mi, which is good. But you've basically...you've just given him Whitebeard's fruit. The shockwaves are Whitebeard's thing, and what's more is that you've actually scaled up the strength of what is referred to as the strongest power in the world. That has to send off some warning signs, right? Even Whitebeard wasn't able to control his own attacks after they had been fired, or absorb similar attacks back. That doesn't make a lot of sense. But, like my issue with Taimen's red matter, it's the descriptions of killing any normal person automatically that are really not acceptable. Punching a person, explodes them. Yelling loudly, kills any normal person. That's just too much. And phrases like "can defeat a whole Marine army with one attack" is just unreasonable, since even Whitebeard couldn't do that. Be reasonable. Secondly (can you believe that was just one thing?) is the Santouryu. I can't say much about it except that it's just...Zoro. It's not like you're not allowed to use it, but do you really want to give your character something that everyone will always associate with Zoro and none other? It's just not a good idea. Now I want to get on to some of the confusing things in your characters backstory. You keep talking about him killing his father again and again, but it just seems so strange the way you've put it together. He ate a strong fruit, so the Marines decide to kill him? How do they know, and why should they care? If he's the son of a Marine commander they would want to recruit him, not kill him. And since when have Marines went out and killed anyone just for having a strong power? Also the bit about dressing up as a burglar just doesn't make sense at all. You should really revamp this entirely, because it just doesn't fit with the quality level of the site as it is. Nettlekid 18:53, September 17, 2011 (UTC) Go online FB Superlolmaniac 10:12, September 19, 2011 (UTC) Just a question How exactly does the waistband around your characters waist seal in his "True power"? Whoever you are, i'll just say that im new so since many stuff i've done changed, this is one of them so there. there is no such thing as bandage holding his true power. Ocelot12349 11:14, September 19, 2011 (UTC) arigato baka no taichou Superlolmaniac 12:09, September 29, 2011 (UTC) Character: I changed the pic! Turu17 20:54, November 14, 2011 (UTC) Articles You had been warned about changing your articles and did not heed to these warnings. That is why they were deleted. Subrosian 00:57, January 6, 2012 (UTC) Articles 2 The page Gin will be restored, but not Danieru D. Taimen because my reasons for deleting it were that the characters was overpowered and it never got changed despite us asking it to be changed. Whoever created this article needs to get with me themselves and make some actual effort to do as we asked. Subrosian 05:03, February 25, 2012 (UTC)